EPOV: January


It’s been almost two months since Sookie left and I woke up thinking she was dead. I rose from my daytime rest and felt an aching void in my chest. I roared as I sat up, grabbing a pair of jeans to throw on before I took off to find out what had happened.

I thought I had lost her. Actually, I may still have lost her. I may never get out of this shithole DeCastro put me in. Although Sookie told me not to go looking for her, I did. I had to. I was willing to let her heal. I wanted her to heal. She needed it, but I wished she had talked to me before having done something so irrational.

I found the note she had left me. Well, at least there was one. If not for that, I would have thought she was dead. When I arrived at her house, no one was there. There were no lights on. Nothing. Her scent went as far as where she normally parked her car, and then disappeared.

She was gone.

She had to get away from everything and that included me. How could she possibly think that I would not care that she was gone? I had been with her every single night from the time when the fairy war except the night before she left.

One night.

I knew that she was confused and distraught that I was not there to save her from the fairies. I knew I should have told her once she had returned home from the hospital, but I wanted to give her more time to heal. She had never raised the subject again, but I should have known by feeling her despair and heartache that it was something she still needed and wanted to know.

Now I could not feel her at all. I didn’t know where she was. All I knew was that she was alive. About a month ago, I rose from my daytime rest and I felt her life force inside of me, but that was all I could feel. Well, I could also feel that she was far away.

I was trying to give her time to heal. I wanted to give her that time to heal. Unfortunately, that’s when DeCastro began to call. He wanted Sookie to read some of his employees. I informed him that she was still healing from the injuries she had sustained when the fairies had kidnapped her, and I would let him know when she’d be able to work. The king continued to call, wanting to know of Sookie’s availability, telling me she should go to see Dr. Ludwig to get the necessary care, and then the doctor could give an estimate of when she would likely recover.

I could do none of those things. I couldn’t take her to the doctor nor put her on the phone because she was gone and I had no idea when she would return. I couldn’t get in touch with her even if I wanted. It didn’t look very good when you couldn’t reach your pledged and bonded.

So there I was, sitting in my tiny silver-lined cell. DeCastro called me to Nevada two days after I felt Sookie. I was attempting to pinpoint her location. I went to the farmhouse to speak with the witch to inquire as to whether she had heard anything, but she told me that she hadn’t. I believed her. I didn’t think either one of us thought Sookie would be gone this long.

I had just walked into my office and was sorting through the mail when I spotted a letter from Sookie. Just as I was about to open it, Victor came storming into my office with a worried-looking Pam behind him.

“There is a van here with ten vampires to take you”, Pam informed me.  (There’s a van here with ten vampires to take you.)

“Northman, lovely to see you. I’m here to take you to Nevada. The king has tired of your excuses. We are to leave immediately unless you are able to provide some type of communication with your lovely wife,” Victor said, looking very smug.

Why haven’t we killed this asshole yet?

It was as if they knew I had no idea of her whereabouts. They probably did. I was going to need Pam to seek out and find the spy in my Area while I too was absent. Should I have her read the letter from Sookie? If there was anything too personal in it, Sookie would likely be angry with me if Pam read it. I didn’t want her to read the first correspondence that I had received from Sookie in over a month.

“Pam, hitta spionen. Någon vet min fru är borta. Lägg brevet från henne I mitt kassaskåp tills jag kommer tillbaka. Gör mig stolt mitt barn.” (Pam, find the spy. Someone knows my wife is gone. Put the letter from her in my safe for my return. Do me proud, my child.)

Pam only bowed to me as I was escorted out the back entrance and into a van. Ten vampires and Victor, did they really believe they could stop me if I wanted to get out of there?  I could kill them all very quickly, but then I’d be on the run or I’d have to kill the king. Neither was something I wanted, especially when Sookie might be coming home.

Only she hadn’t come home. By my estimate, she had not left wherever she was. She was still very far away, thousands of miles away. I would give anything to feel her, to know that she was all right, to see and touch her one more time.

When I first arrived in Nevada, I was brought immediately in front of the king. There was only an hour before dawn so that left very little time to question me.

“I grow tired of your games, Northman. Tell me where Miss Stackhouse is and we will forget this whole incident.”

I knew he wouldn’t forget. DeCastro was infuriated when he hadn’t been able to get his very own telepath.  It didn’t really matter; he was going to punish me for having married Sookie so that he couldn’t get his disgusting hands on her.  I would never give her up.  We had gone through so much to be together. Hell, I didn’t even know if there was an “us” seeing as she had taken off and left me that damn note.

I wondered what her note said that I had left for Pam to put away in my safe. Not knowing was going to drive me crazy until I would be released, whenever that might happen. I didn’t think they would kill me. They would keep me to use as a bargaining chip just in case they ever found Sookie.

“Your Majesty,” I said, bowing my head to him as the guard had thrown me down on my knees.  “As I informed Victor, my wife continues to recover from the fairy attack. I sent her away to heal. When she has recuperated, she will return. Humans are so very fragile and she was fortunate to have survived. There was a great deal of physical and emotional damage for her to just simply heal and overcome.”

All of this was true except I didn’t know if she’d ever return. I really wished Sookie had come to me and asked whatever had been on her mind. She was so stubborn and irritating.

“Very well. If you will not provide me with her services, then you shall be punished for preventing me from such. As the King of Louisiana, she is my asset to do with as I wish.”

“She is my wife. My bonded. She is Mine. No one else’s,” I said with venom in my voice.

“Get him out of my sight. You know what to do with him.”

Vampires surrounded me and shackled me with silver. They took me into custody yet again that night and threw me into a cell. My prison.

Every night over the past month I was questioned regarding Sookie’s location. At least if they were still asking, then they didn’t know where she was either. Even if I had known, I wouldn’t have told them.  She had been through too much already. Who knew what they might do to her if they caught her, I knew it would be too much for her. I could handle the punishment I was receiving. I’d been through much worse by the hands of my Maker. I would take whatever they gave me for as long as it took.

I only received one TruBlood a week. They were purposely keeping me weak. It would take some time once I was out of this cell to heal and regain my strength.

I had been kept naked with only a tiny chair on which to sit in my silver-lined cell. I had had liquid silver poured on my body, been impaled with silver rods, had my right hand amputated along with all my toes. I was repeatedly beaten, cut, and stabbed. I’d lost a great deal blood, still, no matter what they tried, they could not break me.



I sat staring at the white stick on the bathroom counter not believing my eyes. I was pregnant.


This was not something I ever saw in my future. I had realized that by being with a vampire I would never have a child. I also never thought I would be raped by a psychotic fairy while his evil sister sat back and watched.

I’d been gone a little over a month. In that month, I had done what I had set out to do, I healed. I may not have been one hundred percent quite yet, but I may never be. The bite marks were almost completely gone. I’d have a few scars from the really deep ones. The bruises were all gone as well as the knife marks, and the stab wounds had faded to next to nothing.

Being away from everyone truly had helped. Here in Maine no one knew me, and they had no idea what had happened to me. I kept my arms and legs covered while the last of my injuries healed so no one could see them.

Being away from Eric, and not being able to feel him only made me realize that I missed him and that I truly loved him. I guess the bond really wasn’t making me feel anything that hadn’t been real. I hated feeling the void where the bond once was.

I was preparing to head back to Louisiana and face everyone, including Eric. I had been feeling a little worn down, but I figured that maybe I was still healing. Then I started to feel nauseous day and night over the last three days. I looked at the calendar and realized that I hadn’t gotten my period so I ran to the pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test just in case. Surely, I couldn’t be pregnant. Vampires can’t impregnate anyone, but why else would I be having these symptoms?

I was pregnant. What was I going to do? I was pregnant by some psychotic fairy! I couldn’t go back to Louisiana, face everyone, and tell them how I had become pregnant.  I lived in a small town. I was known as “Crazy Sookie” in Bon Temps, and if I went back, I’d be known as a crazy whore. I didn’t want my child to grow up around that.

Eric would never want me now. I was for certain of that fact. He’d know what the fairy had done to me, or he would think I had been having sex with someone else behind his back. No, he knew I would never do that, wouldn’t he? Either way he would never accept me this way. I finally realized that I truly loved him and it didn’t matter, I had still lost him.

I’d just continue my life here. It was a nice town. No one thought I was crazy. They might think I was a whore seeing as I’d be single and pregnant, but at least I would have a new start.

Tomorrow I needed to find a good job. I’d keep renting this house for the time being. It was big enough for a baby and me. A baby… I wish this was a more joyous occasion, but it was just me for now. Alone. I would have to stop drinking the potion. That couldn’t be good for the baby. Once I had a job, I’d need to find a doctor. I would need to start taking vitamins.

I wandered into my bedroom, lay down on my bed, stared at the ceiling, and ran over all the things I would need to do to begin my new life.


Translations are from Google Translate.  I’m sorry if there are any mistakes in my Swedish.

Sookie’s House


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  1. grrr wish he would just kill Tricky Vicky and Creepy Felipe. Oh no for Sookie. Guessing E will find out where she is soon? wonder if she’ll call Amelia.

  2. nice twist and i never trusted Felip …. what is she going to do, i don’t think she will stay away but i know having a Fae baby will make her smell even more enticing, hmm what a dilemma my best Kristie

  3. So heartbreaking. I wish she would trust Eric and head home or at least talk to Pam. I’m worried about Eric. I hope he will start to feel her in the bond.

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