“Trust me,” I heard Eric’s words echo through the darkness. Had it only been a few hours ago when he had uttered those very same words to me before approaching those guards acting like a silly nerd? If the situation hadn’t been so dire, I probably would have laughed.
“Trust me,” echoed again.
“Do you trust me?”
I could do little more than nod my head I was so weak. For some reason, I couldn’t control my voice or eyes. My surroundings were nothing but blackness and the chaos of noise around me. Where was I? What happened?
No more than I had asked myself that question, then the memories of the night came flooding back to me.
Infiltrating the Fellowship of the Sun.
Getting captured with Hugo and dragged down to the basement.
Hugo being the traitor.
Godric saving me.
Eric risking his life to save Godric and me.
Thinking that tonight might be the last time that I ever saw Eric Northman again and wondering when I had started to care whether or not he was in my life or not.
Luke detonating a bomb in Godric’s house.
Eric had been out of the room, but I remember seeing him streak across the room toward me or what I thought was Eric.
That was all I remembered until I heard Eric’s voice echoing in my head asking if I trusted him.
“Everything is going to be okay, Sookie, just a little bit more,” said Eric from the shadows of my mind.
More of what?
Slowly the sounds from the room started to fade away until there was only silence in the dark.
Waking up disorientated and sluggish, I looked around the room to realize that I was not in my hotel room in Dallas, but a strange place I’d never been before.
Sitting up slowly, I stretched my arms over my head realizing that everything was much clearer and my movements were smoother than ever before. Was I dreaming? It was possible. Why else would I be wherever I was and not in my hotel room?
Suddenly an extreme burst of sadness and despair shot through me causing me to fall out of the bed and tears to fall unrelentingly down my cheeks. I was headed for the door one foot in front of the other in the blink of an eye and headed down an unfamiliar hallway and up a staircase that led to a living room. I couldn’t stop my feet from moving. Wherever I was was beautiful, and I wanted to look around, but I kept moving toward a sliding door that looked like it led out to a backyard.
Belatedly as I took one of the last steps before reaching the door, I noticed that I was in a long white nightgown. One that I had never seen before. I would have freaked out any other time, but I didn’t have the mental capacity to wonder about it at that moment as I stepped out onto a deck. What I saw had me rushing over in a frenzy to Eric. He was sitting on the edge of a pool with his feet dangling and streaks of blood trailing down his face and onto his chest. That’s not what had me worried, well it did but what had me concerned was the fact that the sun was starting to peak over the horizon and Eric seemed not to have noticed.
“Eric,” I shrieked and skidded to a stop beside him. At any other time, I would have been troubled that I once again got to my destination so quickly and stopped with such accuracy. How had I not toppled into the pool? I’d need to think on that later.
“Sookie,” he said my name in a whisper that was miraculously in both awe and despair.
Falling to my knees, I cupped Eric’s face in my hands. What had happened? I had so many questions, but I needed to know as if my life depended on it, what had happened to Eric. Gone was the cocky and arrogant vampire that I knew. In his place was a shell of a man.
“What happened? Where are we?” I asked as I tried to brush away his blood tears for only more to fall.
Shaking his head, Eric then grabbed me by the waist and placed me in his lap tucking my head underneath his chin and hugging me to the point of pain and pushing out any breath that was in my lungs. I was afraid that he might crack a rib if I didn’t get him to loosen his hold soon.
The sadness that had overtaken my body lessened slightly with wonder and a tinge of happiness. Why was I feeling these things? This wasn’t me.
After a few minutes of Eric’s painful hug, he loosened his hold on me enough that I pulled back to look at him. He was still crying, but there was a new emotion in his eyes that I couldn’t name.
“Why are you crying?” I questioned softly.
“Why do you weep?” he asked back not answering me.
Was I? I guess I was. It had started when the sadness overtook me, and I hadn’t stopped.
“I don’t know why. I woke up… here,” I answered waving my hand around. “And this sorrow took over, and I couldn’t help but cry. It’s strange. I don’t know where it’s coming from. Everything is different. I’m different in ways that I can’t explain. I’m so confused right now, Eric, but I don’t care about any of that. What I care about is why you’re sitting out here when the sun is about to come up.”
Eric glanced up, his eyes widening slightly as if he only now noticed the sunrise. Shouldn’t his internal vampire clock or instincts have told him he needed to seek shelter? When he only continued to look at me, I begged him to answer me and let me get him to safety.
“Please, Eric, why are you out here? Why have you been crying?”
I glanced back at the house that was gorgeous. It gave me no clue as to where we were. The only thing I could tell as I looked around was that it was in a secluded location and whoever owned it definitely had more money than I did. Not that that was hard to do.
“Eric, I need you to work with me here. If you don’t want to tell me what has you so upset then please just come inside with me. Do you know where we are?”
I couldn’t understand why he continued to look at me with a confused yet awed expression on his face. Finally, my words seemed to register with him.
Nodding once, he finally spoke. “We’re at my house in Shreveport.”
“Okay, good then please come inside before the sun gets any higher. I won’t ask any more questions if you don’t want me to. I promise just come inside with me,” I begged. Not only did I feel this immense amount of sadness and despair but I was about to lose my mind if I didn’t get him inside soon.
“Are you actually here?” he asked clutching me to him once again.
“Yes, honey, I’m right here, but you won’t be if you stay out here any longer. I’m surprised you haven’t started to burn already.”
Looking down at the sunlight hitting my shoulder and then out to the pool where the sun had begun to reflect on the other side, Eric took in his surroundings for what seemed like the first time. He quickly stood to take us inside. He stopped suddenly at a control panel by the door hitting a few buttons making light-tight shutters come down sealing up the house.
I didn’t ask to be put down as he walked us through his house. Instead, I tried to take in my surroundings and see how Eric lived. The house was surprisingly tidy, but I didn’t have much to go on. The only men’s houses I’d been in had been Jason and Sam’s. Okay, I had been in Bill’s house, but that was nothing to go on. His house was dilapidated and in serious need of repair.
Now that I had thought about Bill it made me wonder where he was. Was he still in Dallas or did he go home to Bon Temps?
“Do you know where Bill’s at?” I asked as I recognized where Eric was taking us. We were headed back to the room I had woken up in. Was that Eric’s bedroom? Surely he wouldn’t have taken me to his resting place.
“No, I don’t,” he answered with a surprising amount of sadness in his tone. “I’m sure you’re ready to go back to him now, aren’t you?”
Surprise must have been the theme of the night because no I didn’t want to go back to Bill. I was only curious about his location not when I’d see him again. Again a wave of sadness washed over me and would have taken me to my knees if not for Eric carrying me. Placing my head on his shoulder, I tried to calm down so that I could talk to Eric when we got to our destination and figure out what was going on with him.
Eric was quiet the rest of the way, and once he stepped inside the bedroom, his body seemed to feel the force of the sun beating down causing him to move even slower. Laying me on the bed, he then sat next to me with his head down and tears slowly trickling down his cheeks.
“I’ll take you back to Bill once the sun has set,” he murmured. I watched as one blood tear slipped from his chin and hit the carpet staining it.
“You don’t have to do that. I’m happy to stay here with you. Why don’t you lay down and try to rest or if you want we can talk. Whatever you want,” I spoke, pushing on his shoulder wanting to get him to lean back on the bed. I knew if he didn’t want to there was no chance in hell that I could get him to do what I wanted but he didn’t fight me. Instead, he slowly leaned back until his head hit the pillow. Jumping off the bed, I was going to place Eric’s legs on the bed so he could fully lie down but the second my feet hit the floor he sat up with a look of fear in his eyes.
“Where are you going?” he asked getting ready to stand himself and looking like he wanted to bolt after me.
“Nowhere. I was only going to put your legs up on the bed. Relax, Eric, I’m not going anywhere. If you die for the day, I’ll still be here when you wake up. I promise you. Now, please lay back down for me, and I’ll come sit with you.”
I watched as Eric laid back down keeping his eyes on me the whole time. Did he really think I’d leave him like this? Whatever happened had seriously messed up this thousand-year-old vampire, and I was going to have to prove to him that he could trust me with my actions.
“Is your bathroom one of those doors?” I asked using my head to point to the two doors on the other side of the room.
“Yes, I’m a poor host. I’m sorry, Sookie. I’ve never had visitors. The bathroom is the first door on the right. Help yourself,” he replied and watched my every move until I closed the door behind me. Quickly I used the facilities and then found a washcloth to clean Eric up with. It broke my heart to see his tears.
Circling the bed, I got onto the other side and sat facing Eric with my legs Indian style while I cleaned up his face and chest.
“Would you like to talk or rest?” I asked him. Reaching out I ran my fingers through his hair causing his eyes to drift closed and for him to look content in that moment.
“Would you lay down beside me?” he asked instead of answering my question. I couldn’t deny him though. He looked half hopeful and half afraid that I’d say no to his request. Instead of answering him, I did what he asked resting on my side to look at him. Noticing that I was on my side, Eric did the same stretching his long, lean body down the bed. After a few moments of silence, he blew out a breath, and I felt the cool air caress my face before he spoke softly to me. “You must have so many questions.”
“I do, but first and foremost I’d like for you to tell me why you’ve been crying and didn’t notice that the sun was coming up.”
“I knew it was coming up,” he answered.
“And you thought you’d meet the sun?!” I asked in outrage. I needed to calm down, or he wouldn’t answer my questions, and I wanted him to keep talking, so I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds willing myself calm.
“I didn’t think you were going to wake up. I couldn’t feel any connection to you.”
“Why would you feel me and what would it matter to you if I ever woke up or not?” I spoke just as quietly as he did but I was sure Eric could tell that I was close to losing it. Why couldn’t he just answer my questions?
“You were all I had left and when I thought you were gone… I didn’t want to… I was going to meet the sun. It started to rise, and you came out of nowhere.”
“I came out of this room where I assumed you put me because the last thing I remember is being in Dallas at Godric’s house.”
Tears started to form in his eyes once again, and I prayed that he wouldn’t start crying or I would start again too. The sadness that I felt was almost crippling, but I did my best to block it away like I would someone’s thoughts. I wouldn’t be able to help Eric if I couldn’t function. Luckily, blocking seemed to do the trick.
“What do you remember from Godric’s house,” he asked, and I noticed how his breath hitched when he said his maker’s name.
“Not much. I remember Jason being there and Lorena showing up. Then… Luke. He came with a bomb. Oh God, is Jason okay?” Tears welled in my eyes making it near impossible to see Eric who was right in front of me. I tried my best to keep them at bay. I had plenty of problems with my brother, but I didn’t want him dead.
“Your brother is fine, Sookie,” he said placing his hand on top of mind to reassure me. “What else do you remember?”
“Nothing really. I thought I saw you coming across the room after I warned everyone but it was so fast I couldn’t tell if it was you or not and then… I couldn’t see anything. It was pitch black, and I could barely move. I thought I heard your voice asking me to trust you, but I don’t know if it was a dream or not, it’s all so fuzzy and doesn’t make any sense. What happened?”
“You were gravely injured, and I couldn’t save you by just giving you some of my blood. You were too far gone, and I asked you if you trusted me. You said yes so I did the only thing I could to save you. I don’t know what happened.”
“What did you do? You said your blood wouldn’t work,” I asked. I couldn’t hide the worry in my voice.
“I tried to turn you and make you my Child,” he answered looking away as if he was ashamed of what he’d done.
“Well, I’m not a vampire! What happened?”
“No, you’re not, and I don’t know what happened,” he answered still looking away.
“Tell me what happened and maybe we can figure it out.” I needed something to make sense this night.
“You said you trusted me, so I drank the rest of your blood and then gave you mine. More than enough to turn you. Then I flew us back to my house and placed you on my bed and waited.”
“Waited for what?”
“Everything!” he shouted. His eyes met mine in defiance, but I didn’t know why. How was I supposed to know? I was dead or something during the time.
“Okay. Obviously, it was something important, but I don’t know these things, Eric. I don’t know the logistics of turning someone into a vampire. Please help me understand,” I said soothingly.
We were quiet for a moment. I waited with the best of my ability not to overreact or become impatient.
“I waited for a connection to be made between the two of us. Even though the transition takes three days a small spark of connection is formed right away, but it never came… I had already lost so much and to lose you too.”
Looking away, Eric seemed lost in thought so I let him have a few more minutes to himself while I tried to process what he’d told me. He was stubborn and pushing him wouldn’t give me the answers I needed.
Eric Northman attempted to turn me but thought it didn’t work and was ready to meet the sun. How was I alive? There had to be something more. There were still too many pieces of the puzzle missing.
“Eric, honey,” I called hoping that would bring him back to me. Combing my fingers through his hair once again, he turned his head back to me but closed his eyes. “Do you need to die for the day?” When all he did was shake his head, and mouth the word no I decided I’d try to get more information out of him. “Can I ask you a few questions?”
“Anything you want,” he replied opening his eyes for that brief moment to speak and then closed them again.
“Is the sun pulling you under?”
“No, it just feels nice. It’s been a very long time since anyone has touched me this way. Thank you for doing this. I know I don’t deserve you being so nice to me, but it’s very much appreciated.”
“I understand that for some reason you are very sad, but there’s nothing you’ve ever done to me that makes you undeserving of my touch. Speaking of touch. Everything feels different now.”
“How do you mean?” Eric’s eyes opened filled with some intense emotion I couldn’t name.
“It’s like my life is now in 3D when before it was flat. All my senses are amplified even my feelings. I move and think faster than ever before. There’s this horrible sadness that has been trying to overtake me almost since the moment I woke up. None of it makes sense. Is it your blood that’s making me feel this way?
“I want you to tell me if what you’re feeling changes in any way. Can you do that for me?” he asked coming back to himself with each word spoken.
“I think I can do that. I’ve been trying to block it, but I’ll stop. If it gets too bad though I’m going to block it again. It’s almost crippling.”
“I understand.” And he looked like he understood what I was experiencing.
At least one of us did.
We stayed staring at each other for what seemed like an hour before I started to feel some of the sadness start to seep away. Eventually, it became so small that I almost forgot it was there.
“It’s almost gone. Did I just need to meditate it away?”
Eric almost cracked a smile, but his lips thinned out into a grim line before it ever surfaced. “It was more like I needed to meditate it away. I’ve been so consumed with my grief that I…”
“That you what?” I asked interrupting.
“I didn’t feel you in the bond, or you may have been blocking me when you were trying to block out my sadness.”
“Yours? I don’t understand. What?”
“Sookie, have you ever thought you were more than human?”
He was serious. I could feel he was but how what that possible? I shouldn’t be able to feel him.
“Uh, no. I never thought I was anything but a boring old human.”
“Sookie, you could never be boring, and I’ve always thought there was a possibility that there was more to you. Haven’t you wondered where your telepathy came from? If you were other than maybe me trying to turn you didn’t change you into a typical vampire. From what you described earlier you have all the strengths that a vampire rises with. If you had risen starved and ready to attack anything that moved I would say that you’re a vampire, but that didn’t happen. I never felt the connection until you mentioned feeling me. You came outside following my pain almost as if I was calling you and you’ve never mentioned that you were hungry or thirsty.”
“I’ve had other things to contend with,” I replied with a look. Since the moment I woke up I’d been trying to figure out what had happened to Eric.
“It wouldn’t matter. It would be unbearable. You would have at least attacked me to drink my blood. No fangs have even clicked down from either of our emotions or hunger. I don’t know what to make of it.”
“I sure as hell don’t know what to make of it. You think I am or was something besides human and now I should be a vampire.” I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It was impossible.
“You were dead, Sookie. Dead. I gave you my blood to turn you, and now here you are. What else am I to think?” he said exasperatedly.
“I don’t know,” I yelled, sitting up and throwing my hands in the air. “It’s all too much and so hard to believe.”
“It is hard to believe, and I wish I had answers for you, but I don’t.”
“Why aren’t you dead for the day or have the bleeds? It’s way past sun up?” I scrambled trying to make sense of anything that was going on.
“Why aren’t you?”
“Eric, according to you if I were a vampire it would be for all of a couple of hours. You’ve got over a thousand years on me. I’m not an expert, so I’m asking you!”
“Okay, normally yes, I would be feeling at least some type of pull but I can fight it, and typically the bleeds would have started by now. Are you happy?”
“Am I happy? No! None of this makes any sense.”
“No, it doesn’t. I should have felt a connection, a spark, after giving you my blood, and I should have felt you when you rose.,” Eric mumbled almost as if he was talking to himself.
“Can you feel me now?”
“Yes,” he answered hesitantly.
“But?” I knew there was a but in there. I could feel it.
“It’s different than my bond with Pam.”
“Different how? And where is Pam? Why isn’t’ she here? Couldn’t she feel how miserable you were?” I never thought I’d want Pam around, but I was rethinking that right now.
“Our connection is stronger than mine ever was with Pam.”
“How can that be?”
“How can any of this be? It just is. I wish I had more answers for you.”
“Why isn’t Pam here? You two are so close.” There was no way to image all the trouble that those two had gotten in over the years. They were perfect for each other. More like partners than Master and Child.
“She’s gone. I released her,” Eric answered sadly.
“Why would you do that?”
“I was going to meet the sun, and I didn’t want her to feel it or to try and stop me.”
Once again he answered and looked away. What had happened when I was dead?
“Why were you going to meet the sun? Surely it couldn’t be because of me. There’s more to it. Please tell me, Eric. I can’t help you if you don’t.”
“There’s nothing you can do to help me,” he replied despondently.
“We won’t know if you don’t try. You’re not as sad as you were before. It’s not as strong.”
“It’s just as strong as it was before, but I’m blocking it from you. I am sorry that you had to feel any of it.”
“It’s fine. It brought me to you just please tell me what happened. What made you want to meet the sun?” This was like pulling teeth. Whatever it was was heartbreaking, but I was afraid that if I didn’t find out what it was and try to help him, he’d be outside tomorrow morning ready to meet the sun.
“Godric,” he choked out. The heartbreak hurt to hear, but I needed to be strong for him. Who would have ever thought I’d need to be strong for the mighty Eric Northman.
“Was he hurt during the bombing?” Why wasn’t Eric with his Maker?
“No,” he shook his head in defeat. “I was across the house when I heard your warning. I had been talking to Godric,” he chuckled angrily. “I had been pleading with him for the last half hour, but he wouldn’t hear it. He wanted to meet the sun and had commanded me not to stop him and to leave for Shreveport. It took everything in me to disobey his command for the few short minutes it took me get to you and give you my blood.”
Godric had met the sun? That explained pretty much everything. Well, not whatever the hell was going on with me, but that could wait. What couldn’t wait was Eric. He was right there wasn’t anything I could do to make it better or at least nothing I could think of, but I had to try. If I didn’t, Eric would send me on my way and meet the true death. I couldn’t let that happen.
“Did he release you?” From what Eric had said earlier, if Godric hadn’t released him that would mean he felt his Maker die and even during the few short times I’d seen them together, I could see how much Eric loved and respected him.
“No.” It was a tortured whisper, but I heard it all the same. It made my already broken heart shatter for Eric, and at the same time, it enraged me.
“How could he do that to you?” I was so livid I couldn’t possibly sit or lay for another second. I paced the floor, my nightgown billowing out behind me with every turn. I wanted to scream and cry while punching my fists through every wall and door and I wasn’t sure if that would be enough. It felt like I was going to explode and I wasn’t sure I could keep it in.
“Sookie,” I heard Eric call my name, and if it weren’t the worry in his tone let alone being able to feel it, I wouldn’t have opened my eyes.
Eric was sitting on the edge the bed with wide eyes pointed at me.
“Look at your hands,” he directed me.
Looking down I screamed and hid my hands behind my back. They were lit up like a Christmas tree. Logically I knew that hiding them would do nothing, but I was beyond freaked out and who wouldn’t be if all of a sudden their hands started to glow. Pulling them out from behind my back, I looked at them again and noticed they were still lit up but not as brightly.
“Is this a vampire thing?” I asked waving my hands around until I saw Eric’s body shrink away. Was he scared of me now? He would definitely send me away if that were the case.
“No,” he answered looking more like himself. In control and stoic. “Maybe now would be a good time for you to try and meditate. Calm down, and maybe those hands of yours will die down.”
“Do you want me to leave the room until I get this under control?”
“Just don’t shoot me and you can stay.”
Shoot him? He thought it could leave my hands and hit him? I needed to calm down, so nothing bad happened. I couldn’t risk blasting him. Going over to the chair in front of a bookcase that lined the entire wall and was filled with books, I sat down and closed my eyes willing myself to relax. Every once in a while I would peek out from under my lashes to see if my glowing hands had stopped and each time they were still lit up. I was starting to think it was permanent and I’d have to wear thick, heavy gloves to hide the glow. That would be fun. Not.
“Sookie, you can look now,” Eric said from across the room.
Slowly I opened my eyes to find that my hands were back to normal.
Why couldn’t I ever be normal?
Now I was even more of a freak.
“Well that explains what you are or were or whatever,” he said breaking the silence.
“You don’t sound too sure.”
“Well, it proves you were more than human. You were a fairy, and maybe you still are. I’m assuming by your reaction that your hands never lit up like that before.”
“Never,” I answered and held them out in front of me afraid they might start glowing at any second.
“If I had to guess I’d say you are now part fairy part vampire.” Kneeling in front of me, he took my hands in his. I tried to remove them afraid there was a possibility that I could hurt him but Eric only tightened his hold.
“That’s your guess?”
“Fairies and vampires don’t mix. We are natural enemies.”
“The smell of a fairy to a vampire is like a drug to us. We can’t control ourselves, and once we start drinking, we can’t stop. Afterward, I guess you could say it’s like we are drunk. Naturally, they stay away from us so unfortunately, I don’t have much information on fairies. I’ve never heard of a vampire turning a fairy,” he explained calmly. It looks like the roles for the day had changed.
“This is a lot to take in,” I whispered looking down at our hands. He still had a hold of mine.
“It is, and I’m sorry for that. I only wanted to save you. I never meant for you to rise or wake up to…”
“I know you didn’t. I don’t think I’m a vampire though. I’m still breathing, and my heart is still beating. Those two things should rule out my being a vampire.”
“That’s why I think you’re half vampire, half fairy. What you described earlier, you senses are vampire traits, and before you woke up, you had no heartbeat, and your weren’t breathing. It’s only a guess though. I’m no Supernatural expert, but I could call Dr. Ludwig and ask her to see you tonight, and maybe she can give us the answers you’re looking for.”
“It’s worth a shot.”
“Then I’ll make the call at nightfall.” Eric was quiet for a moment assessing me probably wondering if I would be able to handle whatever we found out. He let go of my hands and sat down on the floor, his back against the bed. “You were so mad.”
“I’m still mad, but trying not to think about it. I don’t want to get microwave fingers again,” I said wiggling my fingers in front of me. “And I don’t want to hurt you.” If I thought about it too much, I was sure I’d be livid again, and that wouldn’t help us at all. Instead, I looked at Eric and saw that he was slipping away back into the depression of losing his Maker and I still wasn’t sure what I could do to help him.
Walking over to sit beside him, I took his hand in mine and laced our fingers together. “I’m so sorry, honey, I wish I could have been there for you. I can’t imagine how awful it’s been for you.”
“You’re here now,” he replied resting his head on top of mine. It was a simple gesture, but he was comfortable around me, and maybe, just maybe he’d let me help heal his wounds.
“You’re worried,” he said lifting his head and looking down at me.
“Yes,” I said drawing out the word. I wasn’t sure if I should bring up Godric or not.
“I’d say that with everything we’ve been through these last couple of nights and especially today you can tell me anything,” he said softly.
I had a feeling that my opening up to him would either make or break this new relationship that was forming between us. Eric wanted me to, and if I didn’t I was afraid he’d close himself off from me, but if I told him what I was apprehensive about he might do that anyway. Either way, I needed to take the chance.
“I know I can. It’s strange to feel so close to you after practically hating you since I met you,” I admitted rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand.
“That would be the bond we share now,” he said after a few moments. “But I also think it’s because Bill’s blood is no longer in you, controlling you.”
As strange as that sounded I couldn’t deny it. I could feel that Eric thought it was true, but it wasn’t because I could feel what he felt that made me believe it. Earlier when I thought of Bill, there wasn’t an ounce of love that I had felt for him before.
“Is that possible?”
“Just about anything is possible where magic is involved. Maybe it’s his vampire ability. I doubt he’d tell us if it was,” he answered.
“If that could be his ability then couldn’t my hands lighting up be mine?”
“Doubtful. Like I said, fairies’ hands light up like yours did, and then they shoot it at their enemies. Vampires. Plus, you’re breathing and have a heartbeat along with no fangs or bloodlust. I wish I had more answers for you but perhaps Dr. Ludwig can shed some light on our predicament. That’s not what you’re worried about though.”
“No, not really. I worried about you,” I answered biting my lip and looking away.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Sookie,” he replied stiffly.
“Somehow, I doubt that, and it’s too late. I’m already worried, so there’s no stopping it now. I don’t want you to meet the sun, Eric. Please don’t do it,” I begged on the verge of tears.
Shaking his head, Eric opened and closed his mouth a few times before staying quiet a few minutes. When he finally spoke it was so quiet, I could barely hear him.
“The hole in my chest hurts so badly, and I don’t know if that pain will ever go away. He’s gone, and there was nothing I could do to stop him,” Eric choked out.
“I don’t understand why he wanted to meet the sun or why he didn’t release you beforehand,” I said balling up my hands and clenching my jaw. “It’s… it’s… if he were here right now, I’d kill him for the pain he’s caused you. It’s inexcusable. I just want to…”
“Sookie,” Eric spoke softly, tightening his hold on my hand.
“I’m sorry, you don’t need my ranting and craziness.”
“Is this what caused you to get so angry before when your hands lit up?” When my only reaction was to nod and take a deep breath, he continued. “It’s been so long since anyone has felt this way about me.”
“Pam would feel the same way if she were here and she should be here with you.”
“She does care but not the way you do. It’s more Master and Child. It was time I sent her away anyways. She has been out on her own before. I only called her here to help me with the reveal and open Fangtasia. She’ll be fine.”
“It still had to hurt her for you to release her and for her to think you were going to meet the true death. I’m not a fan of Pam’s. We’ve never gotten along, but I do feel sorry for her. You should call her and let her know you’re okay and you’re not going to meet the sun.”
“It did hurt her, but she understood why I did what I did. As for you and Pam not getting along that was my fault. She didn’t like how obsessed I had become with you, and I wasn’t doing my job at Fangtasia as I should. If it appeases you, I’ll call her tonight as well to let her know my intentions.”
“Obsessed? Please! You only wanted to get in my pants. Surely, she could see that. You…”
Eric interrupted with a dark chuckle, “She could feel what I felt just like you were earlier. Even if she couldn’t Pam has known me for far too long not to see how differently I had been acting. Don’t underestimate the power you hold over me, Sookie.”
“What? How could I have any power over you, Eric? I’m no one.” Obviously, Eric had lost his mind with grief.
“You are Sookie Stackhouse. The only woman who has caught my attention for more than a night in a very long time. It was taking all the willpower I had to wait until you got tired of Bill. My hope that you would come to your senses and dump Bill died each time I saw you. With each time I was in your presence, you hated me more and more and loved Bill blindly. When I thought I lost you for good, I had nothing else to live for.” He took in a deep breath that he didn’t need and let it out slowly. “You’re here now though, and you don’t hate me, so I’ve got something to live for.”
“You have lots to live for you just can’t see it right now because you’re depressed. Someday you’ll realize that it would have been a huge mistake if you had met the true death this morning. You’re not going to meet the sun, are you? I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and find you gone.”
“You’re not going to leave?” he asked with hope in his eyes.
“No, I’m staying right here. You can’t get rid of me,” I answered back with a small smile. He’d get tired of me sooner or later.
“Then I will not meet the sun,” he promised.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked chewing on my lip.
“Don’t be nervous. Ask anything you want.”
“Why can’t I feel you anymore?”
“I’m blocking you from my feelings. It was too much for you, you said so yourself.”
“What if I want to feel you?” I wanted to know how he was feeling that way I could gauge his emotional state. What if he was lying to me?
“Why would you want to? You said it was crippling. I don’t want to do that to you, Sookie. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It would make me feel better if I could feel you. Please,” I asked, giving my best puppy dog eyes hoping they would work.
“You’re learning fast that I can’t deny you. This doesn’t bode well for the future. You’ll tell me if you want me to block myself from you if it becomes too much,” he said the last as a demand.
Ecstatic that he was speaking of the future, I nodded my head happily. Slowly I felt his emotions start to wash over me, and I was happy to find that although Eric was still sad, he was also what I would call hopeful.
“So, what’s next? Are you feeling the pull yet?”
“Not yet. Are you?” he asked with a half smirk.
“The only thing I’m feeling is kind of hungry, but I’m sure if you’ve never had guests then you don’t have any food here that I could eat, do you?” The hunger wasn’t too bad yet, but by nightfall, I would be starved.
“No, I wasn’t prepared for you to rise and not be a vampire and my house is far from the city. I don’t believe there’s delivery out here and if there was…”
“You wouldn’t want anyone to know where you live. I understand. No worries, I’m not too hungry yet, but I’ll definitely be ready to get something once the sun is down.”
“You’re not going back to Bon Temps, are you?”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked softly. Sensing that he needed me, I wanted him to tell me what he wanted and needed. Letting him call the shots would make him feel more in control of his life.
“I want you to stay here,” he said. That was all he gave, and I needed more than that.
“Stay? Like, spend the night?”
“I want you to live here, Sookie.”
“Okay,” I replied. The word was drawn out as I took this in. He wanted me to live here. I wasn’t sure I could wrap my head around the thought or how to answer him.
“When I brought you here, I thought you’d be living with me for quite some time, and I’ve found that I like the idea of you being here even in this short amount of time. I don’t want you to go,” Eric murmured giving me his puppy dog eyes. How could I say no when he was looking at me like that?
“Why would I have lived here with you if I was a vampire?” I wanted to understand, but this was a big step.
“Only a bad Maker would leave his Child to themselves after they are turned. You would have lived here with me, and I would have helped you transition to the life of a vampire. Made you understand our ways and learn how to feed. You don’t need any of that, but I still want you here. Although I understand if you want to go back home. I’ll respect your wishes.”
“What do you want this to be, Eric? Do you want to be my Maker? Can you control me like a Maker can?” The more the day continued, the more questions I had.
“Can I control you like a Maker? No, I don’t believe so, but through the tie that we now have I could push emotions to you, and you can do the same to me.”
“So, you could help calm me down if I get my microwave fingers again?”
“Yes,” he answered simply.
“That would be helpful. What about what you want from me? Us?”
“I want us to be more than Maker and Child if you even are my Child,” he said and looked away for a moment collecting himself. “I’ve always wanted something more with you, Sookie, if you would only give me a chance I will try to be my best for you.”
“Back at the church, you said you didn’t understand love, even though I know you love Godric and Pam. Maybe that’s something that can only be felt in the Maker/Child relationship, but if you’re asking what I think you’re asking… I know I’m new to relationships having only been with Bill, but I wasted so much time on him. I’m not saying I’d be wasting my time with you, but I need to know if I were to fall in love, that it wouldn’t be one-sided.”
I wasn’t censoring what I was saying, and I should have. The wave of sadness I felt after mentioning Godric’s name made me gasp, and tears fill my eyes, but I kept going. Eric didn’t want me to baby him. He wanted this to help him forget.
His eyes widened for a moment. “I can’t lie to you, and I don’t want to. It had been over two hundred years since I had last seen my maker and I was confused. I knew there was something not right, he’d been blocking his feelings from me and wouldn’t answer my calls, so I told you that I didn’t understand love, but you are right. I do love Godric and Pam but in a familial way. I have never loved any man or woman in all my existence the way you want, but if there were anyone that I could ever fall in love with it would be you, Sookie Stackhouse.”
I was shocked by what he had said, but it gave me something to look forward to. Hope for a future with Eric Northman, and I could tell he felt it too.
“Could you ever love me?” he asked with hope.
“After today I’m already half way there.”