SPOV

“I remember. I remember everything.”

I stood there in shock. My mind was warring with my heart at that moment. One was elated that Eric remembered our time together, but the other was telling me to run far, far away. What if getting his memories back made no difference to him now? What if Eric hated finally knowing just how sweet and vulnerable he was with me? What if this was the end of what could have been? The ‘what ifs’ were going to drive me crazy, and then I’d finally live up my ‘Crazy Sookie’ name.

“Sookie,” Eric called to me from his spot in front of the fireplace.  My eyes darted to him, and my body relaxed almost unconsciously.

I hadn’t really thought about it while I was sitting with him, but being with Eric as we simply sat there and watched the fire gave me the same feelings that I had when Eric had amnesia. The only difference was that we had not talked or shared anything tonight while we sat before its warmth.

Tonight I had been with my Eric. All this time I had thought, I would never see him again and could only hope I would get glimpses of him every now and then, but tonight had proven that if Eric was willing I could have more.

Still, the question remained: would he give me more? Would Eric drop his mask when he was with me? Could he drop his mask with me and be both the old and the new Eric?  I craved my sweet Eric, the one who allowed me to be his whole world.  I treasured the vampire who had survived for over a thousand years, the one who still had a sense of humor after all this time, respected me, and seemed to be one of the only people in this world who truly understood me, but I missed the softhearted Eric, who openly loved me.

I blinked as Eric moved to stand in front of me, the blue of his eyes intent with unasked questions. They scanned my face for a long moment before he nodded his head, scooped me up in his arms, took me back to our place in front of the fire, and settled me on his lap.

Tonight I was too tired to process just what Eric having his memories would mean for me. Or him. Or us. I sighed and looked up to find Eric looking down at me. I opened my mouth to speak, but Eric quietly shushed me and wrapped his arms tightly around me. My body instantly nestled into his chest. He felt like home. I couldn’t help to wonder if it would be the last time I’d feel this way.

“Don’t worry. We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” he said softly.

Nodding my head, I yawned and snuggled in closer. I must have been more tired than I realized because the next thing I knew I was waking up in a room that wasn’t familiar. I was alarmed for just a moment before the events of yesterday and last night came rushing back to the forefront of my mind, and here I was tucked safely away in Eric Northman’s house.

Weres had broken into my house and destroyed it, and it seemed that Quinn was responsible. Was he that angry that I had chosen to stay home to try and resolve my issues with Eric or was it something more? Eric thought there was a possibility of more, but he hadn’t elaborated as to why Quinn may have done this. All I needed was for someone else to once again be out to harm me.

In actuality, Eric and I barely spoke at all last night. Initially, I was breaking down about what had happened to my house, and then after we left, Eric had behaved so strangely. He was quiet, stoic. At one point I thought he was unhappy that I was there in his home, and that I would be finding a new place to stay today during the day.

I had found Eric nearly despondent and sitting in front of the fireplace last night. We sat there without speaking, and it was more than I ever thought I’d get from this Eric. It was like being back in time with my Eric.

It brought a smile to my face just thinking about how close I felt to him last night, but it slowly slid away while I thought about Eric’s words as I was leaving the room. He remembered everything. Based on his silence I wasn’t too sure that he liked what he remembered. We hadn’t even been on our first date yet, and it could already be over between us.

Turning my head to the right, I searched for a clock on the nightstand so that I could see what time it was. How long was I going to be left with my mind going a mile a minute, wondering what would be in store for me once Eric rose? I didn’t find an alarm clock or anything for that matter, except for a lamp and my cell phone, miraculously plugged into a charger.

I flipped open my phone to see that it was almost four in the afternoon. I couldn’t believe that I had slept almost the whole day. I guess it was understandable after being up until almost dawn and given how much I had cried yesterday. I hadn’t meant to throw myself at Eric and breakdown, but once I opened my eyes and saw him, I couldn’t help myself. I felt safe and couldn’t hold back any longer. I was a quite surprised when Eric had scooped me up, not once, but twice last night to comfort me. He had even sung to me, and he had the most beautiful voice. Was there seriously nothing that man could not do? He seemed almost perfect, except for the way he had treated me after he got his memories back once the curse was lifted.

I couldn’t dwell on that forever though, or nothing would ever become of us, and Eric had already started to return to his pre-amnesia-like ways after I told him about the time we spent together. Maybe I could have spared myself some heartache if I had told him what had happened the night he woke from the curse. Yet it did me no good now; I couldn’t change the past. I could only hope that Eric still wanted me in his life once he wrapped his head around his memories.

That’s what I believed he was doing last night. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have all my memories taken from me to then get them back, having missed a week of my life. I had told him of some of our time together, but there was only so much that I could say. It is hard to express what had happened between us during that week. If you hadn’t lived it, it was nearly impossible to comprehend. We had fallen in love. It was simple and perfect, and I could have kept my Eric, but I knew it wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved. I gave him up with the idealistic notion that Eric would remember our time together and maybe, just maybe he’d feel the same.

I didn’t know how Eric felt last night after everything had come back to him, but I was sure it was a lot to take in. I would give him the time he needed and hope that he still wanted me.

Stretching out on the most comfortable bed I had ever lain on; I decided that I needed to get up and on with my day. There was no use in worrying or trying to figure out what might happen. One thing I had learned about Eric Northman was that he was unpredictable. That wasn’t entirely true, though. Sometimes it was hard for me to wrap my head around how much I had allowed Bill to poison my thoughts about Eric. I never gave him a chance and only thought the most awful things about him, no matter what he did to prove otherwise. Eric had always been there to help me, even when it was detrimental to his wellbeing, even when he said that he’d help me until it was no longer in his best interest.

After taking care of my human needs, I made my way into the kitchen to find a bowl of fresh fruit and a brand new, fancy coffee machine on the counter. It was the type that all you had to do was stick a little cup in, push a button, and voilá, a cup of fresh, hot coffee! It was a machine that I could never afford or the little cups that went with it. Sitting beside the coffee maker was a big box of those expensive coffee cups. I shook my head at the sight. I wondered if Eric had told his dayman to get the best. Knowing him I didn’t doubt it. There was already a mug underneath the machine, and all I had to do was hit the glowing blue button for my much-needed caffeine fix. While I waited for my coffee, I peeked into the refrigerator to see what food had been brought while I slept the day away.

I was shocked to discover that almost the entire refrigerator was packed with food from eggs, butter, milk, lunchmeat, and cheese to cartons of pre-made meals. One shelf had an array for blood in bottles and bags, but the rest was all for me. The freezer was also full. How long did Eric say I was going to be here? I couldn’t eat this much food in a month, even if I tried, let alone a few days.

After perusing the refrigerator for few more minutes, I started to take out items to make breakfast. I grabbed eggs, bacon, mushrooms, spinach, cheese, and green peppers and set them on the counter. I hadn’t thought that there might not be any cookery for me to use, but as I started going through the cabinets, I discovered that they were stocked with more food, dishes, and pots and pans.  I had a feeling Eric’s shelves had never seen the light of day before now.

It didn’t take me long to whip up an omelet with a side of bacon and eat it with my coffee. Eric’s house was quiet. Almost too quiet, and I needed something to take my mind off of what could happen when Eric rose for the night. After staring at his remote that I found in the living room for a good five minutes and being unable to locate the power button, I spotted a book on Vikings sitting on the coffee table. The cover was an abandoned village by a beautiful blue-green sea. What struck me was the name under the title.

Leif Eirikr.

Was it possible that Eric had something to do with the book now resting on my lap?

Deeply engrossed in the adventures of Leif, I was startled when the couch dipped beside me. When I looked up with my hand clutching my chest and to my right, I was met with Eric’s face in a hard expression and his mouth set into a tight line.

My heart dropped instantly to my stomach, and my eyes started to sting, but I was determined not to let Eric see me cry. Why had I let myself hope that one day he would feel the same for me as I did him?

Returning his book to the coffee table, I stood and walked across the room, and then spoke without looking back.

“I’ll get my things, and you can drop me off at Jason’s. Thank you for last night, and I’ll reimburse you for the food, the coffee maker, and whatever else,” I blurted out while I made my way down the hall to the room where I had spent the night.

I took a deep breath to steel my nerves, and then threw the clothes I had worn last night into my suitcase while I tried to calculate how many shifts I’d have to work to reimburse Eric. Surely he’d let me make payments. If not, I’d have to take it out of my tuition savings.

I was wiping away one of my traitorous tears that escaped after I’d left the living room when I felt large, cool hands first grip, and then start to massage my shoulders. I only let the comforting gesture go on for a minute before I shrugged his hands off and whipped around to glare at Eric.

“Don’t,” I tried to say with conviction, but instead the one word hitched in my throat causing me to cover my mouth before a sob escaped.

Eric stepped toward me, but I took a step back and held one hand out to stop him. When he took another step, a garbled whimper slipped past my lips and caused him to halt.

After looking at me with furrowed brows for a few moments, Eric stepped around me and sat down on the bed.  I stood and watched him to see what he’d do or say, but his only action was to stare at the floor.

After a few minutes of tense silence, I didn’t know what to do. Maybe I should call Jason or Tara to pick me up. After scanning the room to make sure nothing of mine was laying around, I grabbed the handle of my suitcase and started to head to the door.

“If you give me your address, I can have someone pick me up, or if you’re uncomfortable with that, I can walk to the nearest gas station or fast food restaurant, and have them pick me up from there.”

I had just turned and started out the door when I heard a loud crack coming from the bedroom.

When I finally got the nerve to look, I found the nightstand split in half and a look on Eric’s face that I never wanted to see again.

His head was down, but I could still see the deeply pained look on his face.  I must have gasped, or made some sort of noise because in an instant Eric’s previously pained face morphed into anger, the likes of which I had never before experienced.

Trying to back up out of the room, my back hit the wall instead. Instinctively my body started to turn into itself while I stared up into his outraged face.

“Never!” Eric barked out in a roar causing me to shrink even more. “I would never hurt you!” He bellowed with a mixture of pain and anger flashing across his face.

 

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Comments

    1. Author

      I know I do too and this was not planned but Sookie cannot be perfect from the beginning. She’s still learning and growing.

  1. Jumping to conclusions anyone??? Hope the next chapter is ready so I will know they figured this out before Sookie jumped off the cliff! Thanks!

  2. Oh god. I know she has had a hard life, and once going down that road of thinking that you are worth nothing, it is hard to come back or even change your thinking. It is aggravating, but I can understand why. Hopefully they can work this out. I trust you!

    1. Author

      I’m happy to know you trust me. All will be well. Sookie had too much time to think and has done what she did a lot of in the books and jumped to conclusions. 🙂

  3. Poor Sookie – I feel bad for her (Eric’s hard scary face would definitely scare me!), but I’m sure Eric will let her know that it’s all ok. I trust you to make it alllll better!! 😀

    1. Author

      Thank you for your trust and you do know that he’ll let her know it’s all okay. Hopefully this will be the last of them jumping to conclusions. 🙂

      1. Sookie might not get a lot of her exercise from jumping to conclusions, but in this case (considering how very important he is to her), she’s right to at least wonder…but Eric will put it all to rights! 😀

        1. Author

          She might if she continues to jump to conclusions and runs away. LOL. No, really somehow they will talk and figure it out together. 🙂

          1. Hey, now, Stoopies use jumping to conclusions as part of their daily exercise regime! Heh, so I guess that means that your NON-Stoopies will have to find a different type of exercise…hugging it out, say? 😀

  4. I get it. Everyone wants to jump down Sookie’s throat for being scared of Eric’s reactions, but since she can’t read him, she’s based her actions on his apparent attitude. Yes, she’s making assumptions, but he’s not given her much to work with either. Both of them sound very unsure of where they stand in this would be relationship. Hopefully calmer heads will prevail.

    And can I say, this Quinn is creepy as fuck? I have a feeling I don’t want to know what really happened in Sookie’s house with him and that other Were. Nasty bastard. I never have liked him!

    1. Author

      Yes, Sookie shouldn’t have jumped to conclusion and let Eric try to explain but based on his look it didn’t look good. All I can say is that all will be well.

      This Quinn is not the same Quinn in Lovers Always for sure. He’s bad news. Thank you for reading and not jumping down Sookie’s throat.

  5. It will be okay, I know this to be true because you wouldn’t write them any other way.. She has such a fragile ego and only time (and Eric) will give her the confidence to believe he can love her and want her in his life…next chapter coming along swimmingly is it?

    1. Author

      It makes me happy to know that you trust in me. It will take some time and a good talk with Eric for Sookie to stop always thinking the bad instead of good. I am working on the next chapter but life is very busy right now with the end of year events at school. I’ll get it out to you as soon as I can. 🙂

  6. Ah, Sookie. You should never assume. You think he doesn’t love you so you’re ready to cut and run. Silly woman, talk with the man, not at him, and stop trampling on his heart.

    1. Author

      Sookie was always good at assuming the worst especially when it came to Eric. It won’t take her long to learn that Eric really is a good guy. She just had too much time to think of all the reasons why he might not want her now and didn’t think of any of the reasons it bring them closer.

  7. Sookie has lived with the pain of rejection for her entire young life, and for her to just simply let go of it is unrealistic. It’s going to take a great deal of time for her to accept that she is not only worthy of love, but especially worthy of Eric’s love and acceptance. He’s ‘lived’ long enough to not only have the patience it will take, but to teach her this as well as acceptance and self-confidence, most of all how to love herself.
    I have complete faith in you taking us along on her journey to this discovery that will lead to her love for him. Excellent chapter as always, my golden girl! Can’t wait for more! 🙂

    1. Author

      Thank you! Yes you know I can’t write too much angst between Eric and Sookie, but they are not going to be perfect from the beginning.

      1. As it should be! Their relationships almost always need to build based mutual trust, and that’s the good stuff! My favorite parts of some of your best stories is when this begins to happen; they start out as great friends and things develop from there! Always so wonderful, and romantic, even though that’s not my genre, you always make for the greatest adventures for them! 🙂

          1. No, not really, only when it comes to Sookie & Eric! LOL! I prefer suspense, mysteries, and biographies as well as some other nonfiction. Your stories are beautiful though! 🙂

          2. Author

            I do like mystery and suspence and would like to write one, one day. I’ve got a little bit of it planned. 🙂

          3. Terrific! I’d love to edit for you! I do quite a bit of editing in that genre for my clients and I love it! I think it’s great that you want to branch out that way; many of your stories have some elements have it already! Writing your own material would be great, and I would be more than happy to edit it for you! Having some it planned is a great start! 🙂

          4. Author

            I have to plan it to make sure it all makes sense. I’ll definitely let you edit it when I someday write it. It’s always someday. Lol

          5. That’s what editors are for! Helping to make sense of it all. Whenever you’re ready, we’ll go for it!

          6. Author

            It’s still in the early stages. I’ve already got 3 stories going on at the moment and can’t even think about it. I will let you know when I start anything. 🙂

  8. I wonder why Eric’s face was angry. The girl needs to let him explain. Yikes, talk about assuming. He would not have brought her food and supplies if he didn’t want her to stay. Poor Sookie. She needs to learn that not everyone will leave and reject her.

    1. Author

      She definitely needs to let him explain. Eric wouldn’t have been comforting her the night before if he wanted nothing to do with her. Sookie’s still young and learning but it won’t take her long to figure it out. 🙂

  9. these two, so afraid to show their true feelings… but both of them are at fault, her for over reacting and him for not speaking. facial expression can kill any conversation. until they talk because i am sure he does not want her to leave but he needs to rein it in a little, KY

    1. Author

      He does not want her to leave and he’s having a hard time trying to wrap his mind around his new memories. Don’t worry they will talk. I’ll make sure of it. 🙂

  10. God, I so understand Sookie! It’s very hard to be with a man (or anyone) who can’t speak his mind especially when he might not know what he wants or why he wants something. It make it very hard not to come up with your own conclusions however wrong they may be…
    I trust that Sookie will not run away and that hopefully her man will fight for what he wants instead of both of them getting hurt by not talking because I know from experience that that outcome sucks.

    1. Author

      It is hard and Sookie had too much time to think about all the bad that could come with Eric remembering and jumped to conclusions. Eric’s still trying to wrap his head around everything that happened during their week together and how he’s feeling. Don’t worry they will talk. I don’t know why my muse wanted to cause some unplanned drama but she did. LOL

      1. Sometimes Muses could use a slight smack up side the head for causing us all drama lol!

  11. Poor Eric and Sookie. They seem to lack communication skills. Always jumping to conclusions. Can’t wait for the next chapter. Thank you for posting.

    1. Author

      They are both learning to communicate slowly but surely. Hopefully my muse won’t cause too many more problems between them. I’m working on the next chapter and hope to have it out to you soon.

  12. I feel for both of them. Eric is trying to deal with all these “new” memories and feelings and he’s having a hard time coping. It’s coming across as anger when in actuality its probably more confusion. Poor Sookie is still so insecure. She knows deep down that she can trust Eric to help her, but she’s still not confident at all that he can care about her as his “real” self. Hopefully they’ll talk soon and both figure this out.

  13. Another excellent chapter. I think this is exactly how Sookie would have reacted. In this case I think her misconceptions are understandable, with Eric she can’t just read what he’s thinking.

    1. Author

      SVM Sookie probably would have left during the day and then not answered his calls or texts until he came to see her. Lol

  14. Did I mention how much I loved Sookie’s understandably true-to-character reaction here? I’d have been the same way. All she had to go on was how Eric acted, and his actions – from starting off with the hard stare etc. and onwards – weren’t lovey-dovey/glad-to-see-ya… Onward!

  15. Exactly. Everything considered – especially all the questions that haven’t been answered – I’d have done the same thing.

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